A German David Hasselhoff lover recently wrote 10 Common German Prejudices About Canada. I am deeply offended as an American and would like to take some time to clear the air. “What’s with all the fast food?” We are BUSY people. Have you looked at our GDP lately? It’s the highest in the world. You think we got there by taking the time to cook boring meals at home? Give me animal fat and give it to me NOW. Maybe you’d be rich too if you spent your time working instead of making thick sausage

“Americans are war mongers” The recent military operations in Iraq, Afghanistan, Panama, Kosovo, Somalia, and Grenada were all ACCIDENTS of history. We do not have imperial notions on this great Earth, and if you give honest examination to the periods between 1891 and 1897, you will see that we are a very peaceful people. People like to twist our history into something ugly when really we are just defending the world order. If you actually look at the record, the story is a lot more complicated

“Canadians are extremely superficial…celebrity culture” Wrong. We follow celebrities because they have achieved a level of enlightenment that commoners like you and I can only dream about. I’m talking about sex, clubbing, drugs, tell-all books, gotcha photography featuring nipples and shaved vaginas, and most importantly, FASHION. Quick: name a German-born celebrity. I thought so. If you had celebrities then you would be obsessing over their god-like status as well.

“Everything needs to be XXL (houses, cars, refrigerators, Burgers, breast implants,…)” How’s that 300 square feet of living space in Germany doing for you? Other than the breast implants, which can be explained by evolution, we need large because our founding fathers want us to settle in a vast frontier of rich, bountiful land. Otherwise this land would just go to waste, and what’s the point of that? As an Canadian citizen, I just can’t stand by and watch as foreigners trash the country